10 Things I Don’t Want You to Know About Me
Kerry Shook had a great twitter post the other day: “Hide ur ordinariness and u may impress people, reveal ur ordinariness and u will influence people”
One of my goals for this blog is to avoid mistakes I have made in the past. More on that in a coming post, but for now, let it be said that in this brave new world of living our lives online and out loud, we all have a natural tendency to present a puffed up, larger-than-life version of ourselves. For the record, I don’t think it’s intentional. Of course we want to share the best things that happen to us – theose exciting things that make our day and get deemed blog- or twitter-worthy. But if that’s ALL that we’re sharing, we’re not being real with other people. And by not presenting an accurate picture of ourselves, we’re not really giving an accurate picture of God either.
And being real with other people (and hopefully pointing them towards God) is precisely the point of all this social media stuff. Isn’t it?
Think about it. If the goal of our blog posts/tweets/statuses is to tell people how awesome we are, there’s no room left for God. But if we tell people about how normal we are, we are getting out of the way so we can point to what God is doing.
(Geoff Talbot wrote an excellent post about this on Michael Hyatt’s blog about this very thing. It is definitely worth taking the three minutes to read it…)
In that spirit, I’m going to counter my 100 things about me with “10 things I don’t want you to know about me”. It’s nothing really scandalous, mind you, but I just want to point out that I’m just a regular dude. And hopefully in some roundabout way that can point out how awesome God is.
Here we go:
- I am socially awkward - I was painfully shy all through school. I have worked on this my entire adult life, but this trait will still shine through if I let my guard down, especially in situations where I’m really tired. This also manifests itself in #2, and #3 for that matter…
- My phone etiquette is a couple steps below terrible – I don’t mind talking on the phone, don’t get me wrong. But a lot of times when people call I am in the middle of something. Which is fine. What is not fine is that I often never call them back.
- I spend too much time on my iPhone – The iPhone is great when you need to kill time while waiting. Not so great when you should be paying attention to your wife and children.
- I drive like an old man - This one drives my wife CRAZY. When I’m driving, I usually drive slow. I get in one lane and stay there. Even if there’s a bus in front of me going slow as molasses. But for some strange reason, I get more speeding tickets than about anyone I know.
- If I hit my thumb with a hammer, “shoot” is usually not the first thing out of my mouth - I’ll be honest. Profanity bothers me. But it is one of those things that sort of creeps into your life if you let it. And next thing you know, something happens and you say something you instantly regret.
- I am more of a talker than a doer – I have a lot of great ideas. I don’t know if they just cancel each other out or if I’m too busy or too disorganized. But more often than I would like to admit, I don’t follow through as much as I would love to.
- A prayer warrior I am not – I have so much respect for people who place a high priority on prayer. I think this is one of the major differences between mature Christians and immature ones. But outside of the “practicing His presence” kinds of prayers, I have not incorporated deliberate, daily prayer into my life nearly as much as I would like to.
- I am an “absent-minded professor” – Have you ever walked into a room, then forgot what you were going in there to do? Happens to me several times daily. Being an introvert, I kind of live in my own world, lost in thought a lot of time. Lost in thought often equals lost keys, lost wallet, and a lost mind!
- I have a low sense of self esteem – This is a little bit out of my realm of expertise, but I am sure that pretty much everybody has a pretty low view of themselves. It just manifests itself in different ways. For me, it comes out as the “impostor” syndrome, where I don’t feel like I belong in many situations and that my cover is going to be blown. Oh, and throw in a dose of good, old-fashioned Southern passive aggressiveness.
- I am a recovering know-it-all – This will probably get its own post later, but let it be known that I identified this issue several years ago and have worked on it. A lot.
Posted on June 21, 2011, in Faith. Bookmark the permalink. 37 Comments.
I think we might get alone (or drive one another nuts). Your list could be my list, except it has been a few years since I got a speeding ticket.
By the way, it was you that originally inspired me to start book blogging a couple years ago when you were doing your summer reading posts. I am over 550 posts now.
Dude! I love your blog. Whenever I start a blogroll on here, you will be the first link
Funny you mentioned the summer reading club. I’m thinking of doing one this year. VERY low key…
I think the whole “socially awkward” thing surprises me a bit, especially considering your line of work and how many social situations you must find yourself in.
Hey Mark!
Great post!! This is one of things we love about you, ( you are a regular old dude) as you refer to yourself!! I think that’s what makes it easy for me to be around all you guys! I don’t feel any less of a person around you! I never feel like you are judging me! (I deal with low self esteem too & I am quite sensitive-trying to work on that myself!) I also can relate to #5 & #8! I do wish you would have followed through with TheSixstringLounge, though! (I was really fired up to learn to play that guitar in 30 day the correct way this time & as I said I am comfortable with you-not so with other guitar teachers I had in the past! So please work on #6 !) Thanks for writing this post & will pray for you on these 10 things!
Mark,
Loved this post. Your reasons for writing this, were among my reasons for leaving Facebook three months ago. People, including myself, oftentimes only share what flatters themselves, rather than what truly is honest and Christ-exalting. You’ve inspired me once again. I’m going to work on my own post of 10 things today.
Surprises–
#1– I find it easy to carry on a conversation with you & would have never pegged you as shy. Actually, I struggle with this one myself. When I was younger, my shyness was perceived as snobbish, which was really hurtful. Because of this, I hated high school. I’m better today, but I still dread things like Kevin’s fancy Enterprise functions.
#9– You come across as a leader. Leadership is not something I equate with low self-esteem.
Not a surprise–
#4– Stephanie let me know this back in January.
I struggle with #7. My prayer life is up & down. Kevin & I pray over our meals daily, but I tend to go in my “prayer closet” only when others or myself desperately need it, rather than doing it daily. I find my everyday prayers to be superficial. God is ALWAYS on my mind, but I’m not sure that counts!
Wow. I struggle with all of those, except the iPhone. I have an Android phone. The end result is still the same, though. And sometimes, with #6, I feel like I’m letting down everyone: God, my family, myself. I’m sort of stuck in a rut. But I’m working on this now (and #7!). I’m also a guitar player, but I haven’t been serious about it for many years.
wow, mark … great list. i feel that i have 8 of your top 10, i’d call you to discuss, but you might not call back and if you did and left a message, i might not call you back. strange, huh?! the cool thing is how God uses us and loves us anyway. how that amazes me on a daily basis.
thanks for sharing your list and heart. now back to the iphone!
blaine
cincinnati, oh
Quite surprised! Especially about the shyness. My first meet and greet your line was backed up cos you were yacking away with one of the fans and the rest of us were waiting for our turn! I too do not like the phone very much except to use it to get on social networks and apps. Not for talking! LOL. I was a telephone appointment clerk for 4 years and after answering 100s of calls, I don’t like the phone anymore!
I’m a planner but my plans get lost in the details! Unless it’s a Third Day concert then I’m all over it! As far as a prayer warrior – I don’t spend enough time in formal prayer but I’m talking to God all day from the minute I get up to when I go to bed! Does that count?
I love your blog. Keep it up! Which reminds me I need to update mine!
These hit way too close to home, Mark. I wonder if you are a Myers-Briggs’ INFP or INTP? The reason I wonder this, is that I am an INFP and the things you wrote really resonate.
For me, discovering that I was a “rare” personality type, helped me grow comfortable with why my head stays in the clouds and why I rarely feel a part of any group. It also explained why I am compelled to write. And, um, why I cuss like Yosemite Sam when I get frustrated or flustered.
Hey Mark,
Love the blog! Keeping it real is what it’s all about and exactly where God wants us to be, no matter who we are, right? As my Grandma used to say, “she puts her pants on one leg at a time”. Thanks for the dose of honesty – God uses you in ways you can’t imagine! Keep up the good work!
Joni Fehrenbacher
You’re not as guarded as you might think. It doesn’t take long in your company to see many of these things show up. But that’s good. It means you never perfected the guise.
We all struggle in life with different things. Its great to see the honesty and I think it will encourage people to take a good look at themselves. God is a merciful God and he knows our hearts! Thank you so much for being an encouragement to us all!!!
1 to 10 ring true to me too, except I have a blackberry. Thank GOD for loving wives and kids who look up to us.
I like this post a lot. What I like about it is that it reminds me that we are all in the same boat. We may not all have the same difficulties, but we all struggle with one thing or another. That is what makes us all need Christ! He will help us through our difficulties and strengthen us. Actually, you wrote about the procrastination thing before and I saw a bumper sticker the other day that reminded me of you. It said, “I’ll procrastinate tomorrow.” Lol! Keep on working for Christ – and, of all the things on that list I would encourage you to definitely start praying daily. That is so important and will help so much with all the rest. Remember though. . .prayer is a two-way conversation. If you aren’t listening as much as you’re talking, you’re not doing it right. And there you have it, from Mrs. Know-It-All!
1-3 is me, I’m working on #7 (going through a spiritually troubling experience right now.)
#8 sounds familiar, but I’m older than you, so I can get away with it easier.
Keep posting!
Wow..this is totally my list….except #3 as I don’t have an iPhone
I’ve been working hard on #7, but find that the harder I try the harder it is to accomplish a routine (or a conscious effort to incorporate prayer into my daily life). I look at that as the more I focus on Christ, the more the Devil throws at me to distract me. And so, the war wages on.
Thanks for being so real about your list, which shows a sense of humility and realness. I also was painfully shy in school, and had trouble making friends, so really appreciated #1.
I totally hear you with #7. I’m learning to just “be still”. And #8 only gets worse with age. I’m also trying to work on #10, which requires more listening and less talking.
Self esteem is interesting, but thankfully, we can be confident in the Lord. And as always, it’s good to be a work in progress as long as we have the One that is working in us.
Thanks for being so real about your list, which shows a sense of humility and realness. I also was painfully shy in school, and had trouble making friends, so really appreciated #1.
I totally hear you with #7. I’m learning to just “be still”. And #8 only gets worse with age. I’m also trying to work on #10, which requires more listening and less talking.
Self esteem is interesting, but thankfully, we can be confident in the Lord. And as always, it’s good to be a work in progress as long as we have the One that is working in us.
i wouldn’t have thought of you as shy , you hide it well . in school i was voted one of the two shyest girls in the entire school . i hate going to meetings at work and things where i feel like i have to be in the spotlight at all , but you do great considering your up on stage in front of so many people . i can relate to the forgetting things , but i’m older than you so i tend to blame it on that instead . Ill bet your wife loves that your being so honest about such things . some men , and women have trouble admitting they have flaws and things they need to work on and yet we all have them . Strange isn’t it , we all want other people to think we’re confident and know exactly what we’re doing . oh well such is life . We’re all in this together . We’re all a work in progress . Thanks for being so honest with your fans and friends . That’s why we love you .
Thanks again
I really liked your honesty, Mark. I know about the low self esteem and socially awkward part! Neat for you to put this out there for the public to know a little more about you.
I can relate to each one of these items, cousin Lee. With #4 (driving), it’s kinda weird. I bought a mid-life crisis sports car and now I’m afraid to floor it because I don’t want a ticket. Is that crazy? In many ways, there are things that I dreamed I would do when I got older, now that age and responsibility have set in, some of those things are not so important any more.
I too find it most interesting that you would label yourself as socially awkward. I say that because you have never come across that way to me! You always seem very self confident, polite and extremely nice. I’ve met a few people lately who do a lot of public speaking that were VERY shy in one on one conversations though. So I wonder if there are some who feel more “at home” in large crowds performing or speaking but less so in smaller settings.
How do you survive Atlanta traffic if you drive like an old man? You are not a “one-speeder” are you? Those are people who go the exact same speed limit (usually 45mph) regardless of if they are in a 25mph school zone or on the interstate where it is 70mph.
I have just recently been reading your blogs. You write so well and with so much heart.
I like being able to see what you are really like.You make me laugh.
I met you guys a couple months ago…talk about socially awkward. I had so much I wanted to say to you yet when I got up there, the words just wouldn’t come out. I wanted to just kick myself. It was terrible.
I will see you in Indiana in August. I am going to try again.
I found your blog through your posts on Twitter. “Come join me! Or don’t. I don’t care.” Where does that fall in on your list?
I would answer, but honestly, I’ve forgotten everything on your list because I read it and then read some of the comments. Wtih that said, after I initially read your post I thought I would send you my top ten list of not so great things about me in no particular order.
1. I am critical. I wish I weren’t, I think it comes from fear.
2. I struggle with consistent forgiveness, that is forgiving people on a consistent basis instead of picking and choosing what I am and am not going to hold against someone.
3. Like you, I don’t have a consistent prayer life. (Hence number 1 & 2 right.
4. I have a hard time being patient. Not a good trait when you have kids and I find the busier I am the less patient I am.
5. My life is too busy! As I heard Dr. Dobson say one time, we live in “organized chaos”, that struck a chord with me at the time. Of course it relates to all the other things on this list so far.
6. I like to be right most of the time. Notice I said most of the time, which leads me to…
7. I am self-righteous. However, I do make myself feel better about this one by allowing other people to be right every now and then. (See No. 6
8. I am undisciplined…in lots of things: devotions, exercise, walking my dog, etc.
9. I put off till tomorrow what I could do today, this one is kind of like No. 8.
10. I am a people pleaser. That short phrase encompasses a wide variety of things but suffice it to say that alot of the time I am motivated by other people’s approval to do things instead of God’s.
Well, that is it! Thanks for posting and giving me the inspiration to post also. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Hi Mark! Your honesty and reflection are refreshing. I struggle with workaholicism, often to the point of collapse. And due somewhat in part to the work issue, I tend to be late or just in the knick of time for a lot of things because I try to cram too much into my day. Often these things aren’t important, but what I am late for is.
I pray for your efforts to further your education! deb
Have all of you been invading my mind and life???? Wow..Mark and others it seems as though many of us have a lot in common. I am a teacher, wife, mom, and Sunday school teacher and people think I have it all together. Ummm…NO it is a facade!
I have three to add the list as an addendum not as my only ones:
- I worry that I am not the best mom. My prayer is that my kids will still love and want to visit me when they get grown.
- I just read the Screwtape Letters and loved it….Confession: Once I got used to the elevated vocabulary. I am so used to reading adolescent fiction for my classroom that I had to use different reading skills to read it. It was awesome. I feel I need to reread it to dig deeper for the truths hidden within its pages.
-I look at my relatives and wonder how I am going to age. It doesn’t look good for me and I think about it way too much. I just went to LA for vacation with my family and all I could do is look around and wonder some more. Vanity is a waste I know but….
Thanks Mark for getting this started and for others for sharing. It shows that we are all works in progress. It is funny. You see people from the outside and just can’t imagine that they struggle with anything that you do.
I can relate to much of this, actually. Post things like this, and I think you find out how common you think your “uncommon” traits really are. I was also painfully shy, and it still comes through. I am not an introvert, actually – as those are two different things I’ve found – at least by current definitions.
I had to laugh about the social situations and phone etiquette, because I can relate. I’m bad at exits, so sometimes I’ll stay too long just because I haven’t figured out a good way to leave instead of just leaving. And I am good about calling people if I have an idea what I want to say, or have the number handy. Otherwise, I’m not. Really, your list and mine are too similar. LOL I knew there was a reason I liked you.
I do have an issue with the term self esteem (or value.) I do think we can have skewered images of who we are that affect how we interact. I do think we can feel inadequate for tasks (I do far more than I should sometimes) that we are capable of. I believe we can have a faulty self image, but according to scripture, it seems we value ourselves plenty. The assumption in the passage (in context) “Love your neighbor as yourself” is that you love yourself. It’s a matter of priorities. It is not saying you need to love yourself first. Anyway, I think as Christians we just need to strive to have an accurate self image rather than self esteem. I hope that makes sense. (Sorry, it’s a bugaboo of mine. LOL)
I’ve read The Screwtape Letters several times. I think I’ll see if I can put it on my new “toy” (Nook) and read it again. It’s worth it.
Glad you’re back!!!!!
It’s nice to know you’re socially awkward.
I would never think any one who performs on stage would have that in common with myself.
Great post!
1, 9 & 5 surprise me. Alright just kidding about #5.
I struggle with 1, although Jamie Beals would never believe that. I get accused of not liking people a lot because of it.
I’m on my iPhone a lot, too. I think the light just sucks me in.
Maybe someday you can explain what old-fashioned Southern passive aggressiveness is to this wahine.
Great blog, thanks! Very interested reading more about #10, as soon as you blog on it. I’m also a recovery know-it-all, currently leading a Celebrate Recovery ministry actually. Love to hear recovery stories of other people…they’re all testimonies of what God does with our lives when we die to selves and surrender to HIM!
Rachel, Alabama…
I actually meant “recovering know-it-all”, as in, I used to be a know-it-all, but I’m recovering
I’m sure recovery know-it-alls are awesome too!
Nothing surprises me any more. Maybe its getting older and more life experience myself, but I don’t really get surprised by anyone any more. I just try to roll with the punches and show grace and mercy as I can.
I totally get the whole not talking on the phone. I use about 20 minutes a month and that is necessity. I am bad about calling people back. In fact I was totally called out by a blog I read this week. But that’s my issue, right. Anyway, im new to blotting and think I’m not all that interesting but im gointo give it a try. Oh and the phone thing, yeah im freakishly attached to my droid. Never thougt id be like this. But I am.
I really struggle with praying too. Im working on that one but its, you know, always going to be a struggle I think.
Thanks for being honest. This will be a good read. Oh and you can talkabout your sci fi love sometime.
Hi Mark–well, you posted this a while ago but oh well, I just read it today. Thank you for being real, for not being the holier than thou. I can relate to all you wrote–I often wonder where words that have occasionally flown out of mouth are being stored–I also cannot stand profanity, there is a whole entire world of vocab words to choose from so I do not understand why my brain will sometimes pick one of “those words”. And I always walk into a room, stand there, and have to strain my brain to figure out what I am doing there. Sometimes even go back to where I came from to re-think about if for a moment. Scares me actually, afraid what I’ll be like in another 10 yrs! I was so shy as a child it really wreaked havoc on me. While I am much better today as an adult, my husband and kids tell me I itch an imaginary itch on my hand when talking to new people and rub the skin off of my face while on the phone : (( They’re just all crazy! But I still cannot ever ask or say all the things I would like to when meeting you all at a meet & greet!! Could you just give me an hour or so and then I can work up to it?? I can talk on the phone however, especially w/ my sister
It’s a trait I believe we’ve passed down to our own kids : ) Low self-esteem, working on that and very thankful for Tai’s tweet this morning (Heb 11:13-16) came just when really needed it today. And I really, really wish I had the focus to put into action all these things that seem so organized in my head, great ideas I believe! And as for a know it all, the more I live the more I learn everyday. Realize that when I finally know everything, I’m not living anymore! Each situation seems to bring to it a whole new opportunity for learning something, especially patience! And—I, not that it matters much, but am in no way offended by you caring or not caring whether I read your blog, much in the same way as I feel about you reading this : ))) Have a great day and as always, thanks for all you share with us, your fans!
Awesome post, I like the blog. First time here. I saw you in Tucson and as a guitarist myself I totally understand the social awkward part. I even work in sales, but if I don’t know what I am suppose to be saying, or playing, or being for that matter I really am never sure how to fit in. Must be that low self esteem, but as a Christian I always pray that people see me less and Him more when they meet me.
You guys were amazing in Tucson, I hope you come back often. I plan on working a few of your songs into our worshop services.
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